New Advances in Physics

Turning Gold into Lead

In a startling breakthrough, scientist B.O. "Gus" Fizzics has invented a practical technique for transmutation! For more details, please see our transmutation thesis.

Perpetual Inactivity Machine

In a radical approach that turned traditional attempts to develop perpetual motion machines on their heads, Prof. Fizzics has developed a verified, bona fide perpetual inaction machine. To purchase your own for only $99.00 (plus $43.29 shipping and handling), please see our order form.